My Everything
by be-the-ALEC-to-my-MAGNUS
Summary: Imprinting can be tricky can the pack brothers and sister can Embry, Seth, and Jacob survive imprinting on three totally different best friends? Can the boys survive their imprints kick ass FBI BAU parents? Rating may change to M later!  With Love, be-the-ALEC-to-my-MAGNUS
1. Chapter 1

**Imprinting can be tricky can the pack brothers (and sister) survive Embry, Seth, and Brady imprinting on three best friends? Can the boys survive their imprints kick ass FBI BAU parents?**

**I do not own Criminal Minds or Twilight. I just thought I would write this fanfic about my favorite character from Twilight Embry Call getting an Imprint. **

Embry POV

"C'mon guys we don't want to miss lunch at Sam and Emily's!" I yell at Quil, Jacob, Seth, Brady, and Collin as the rain pours down around us. Even though Jacob is the second in command of the pack and Quil is older than me by about five months I have always been the one that has to rein them in and get them places on time. That's me: Embry the level headed and calm one. As for Seth, Collin, and Brady… well they are new wolves and have a hard time staying focused and on task. As usual no one moves toward the vehicle we are now soaking wet and I really want to eat something. I am going to need a more motivational sentence, "If we don't hurry then all of the food will be gone." I continue they are all springing into action now. They look like starving jungle boys the way they running toward Jake's Rabbit.

We are on our way to the car when I hear the most melodious voice I have ever heard in my life, where is this angel whose voice is causing my heart to flutter uncontrollably? I strain my ears to hear it better and I have started to look around casually to find the source.

"I am hungry, and we don't have much of a choice! I am not going to sit out here all day long, in the rain I might add, just because you are afraid to ask some guys, who by the way, look like they know about cars for help!" She has long flowing black hair and the most beautiful eyes, they are such a dark brown! She looks angry, like she will murder the next person who speaks to her, but she is the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen regardless. I quickly assessed the problem as car trouble and wanted to instantly swoop into the rescue for her!

"Dude I just imprinted." I say to no one in particular but everyone hears and starts congratulating me and looking around for my Imprint. "She is the one in the red tank top with the dark hair and eyes," I tell them quietly as I watch her.

"Dude she is H-O-T!" Jacob says loudly and I growl, "MINE" I say angrily at him.  
>"Okay, okay! She is all yours Bro understood loud and clear!" Jacob says in an 'I give up' tone of voice.<p>

I don't even answer him; instead I just keep staring at her! She is like my oxygen! I can't even think of what it would be like without her and I don't know how I managed in life until now! How have I lived without hearing her voice? We are brought out of this small squabble when my imprint walks over and starts to talk to us! I am so focused on watching her lips move when she talks that I don't even hear what she saying I don't know how long I have been out of it but I heard my name at one point and I looked away for a second but then I started my staring again but then she starts hugging Seth. I can't help it, I growl to let him know he can't touch her! Just how the hell do they know each other?

Nat's POV

Okay so I am a little bit angry that my mother, the high and mighty Emily Hotchner decided I couldn't be trusted at home alone just because last time she and dad, Aaron Hotchner aka the head of the BAU team on the FBI which my mother works on underneath him, walked in on me and Jonah, my most recent ex-boyfriend making out… in bed… okay so it sounds bad, but that doesn't mean she has to be a BITCH and send me off to stay the WHOLE summer at her half-sisters' house in La Push, Washington. Yes, you heard me right, La Push! Who comes up with these town names anyway it is right next to, wait for it, Forks, Washington yeah I am officially in HELL okay so I am not in Hell, I actually really like my Aunt and my two cousins but it is the fact that she doesn't trust me that pisses me off! But to top it all off just on the City Limits of La Push our car broke down. Yes I did say our car, my best friends and almost sisters are here with me because their parents do not trust them either. Noelle aka Nollie (Because she hates her name pronounced No-lee) and Chloe aka Cleo (Because Noellie never could say her name right when we were kids pronounced Clee-oh) are the daughters of four other agents on my father's BAU team Chloe Shellie Reid belongs to Super Genius Spencer Reid and Silly yet professional Media Liaison Jennifer Reid(Uncle Spence and aunt J.J. to me and Noellie) and Noelle Desiree Morgan is the product of Door Kicking Bad Ass Derik Morgan and Computer Technical Analyst Info Goddess Penelope Morgan (Uncle D. and Aunt P. to me and Uncle Derik and Aunt Penelope to Cleo) and I, Natasha Hayley Hotchner, am the ever so lucky offspring of BAU Section Chief of the FBI Aaron Hotchner and SSA BAU Agent Emily Hotchner (Mom and Dad to me, Uncle Aaron and Aunt Em. To Noellie, and Uncle Aaron and Aunt Emily to Cleo) so yeah, anyway long story short Cleo can be trusted but her parents didn't want to leave her all alone all summer so they sent her here with the Untrusted, Noellie isn't trusted cause she is like totally a party thrower! Her parties are the best! And I already told you why I am not allowed to be at home alone! This is so unfrikingfair! So anyway we are broken down of the side of the road and I see these totally hot guys who are like ripped and shit and I think 'hey they could help us fix the car!' but Cleo immediately hates the idea of course! She always hates my ideas for some odd reason!

So I am mad and I kind of snap at her, "I am hungry, and we don't have much of a choice! I am not going to sit out here all day long, in the rain I might add, just because you are afraid to ask some guys, who by the way, look like they know about cars for help!" I say angrily to Cleo but of course she always has to have a comeback to everything!

"Oh so they look like they know how to fix cars to you? Because to me they look like they know how to use steroids and rape defenseless innocent young girls like ourselves!" she yells at me looking at Noellie for backup.

She doesn't find it cause I am pretty sure Noellie is too hungry to care how the car gets fixed and if it gets fixed by rapists and she proves this by looking up from her drawing and saying, "Look Cleo, I do not care if they are rapists, Hell they could be fucking AXE MURDERS for all I care as long as this car gets fixed and I get a serious amount of kick ass good food in my stomach very soon!" by the end Noellie has lost her temper which you don't see very often seeing as how she is hardly ever aware of what is going on around her. She is always daydreaming and drawing in her sketch book that Cleo and I got her for Christmas last year, it is one of those with, like 700 pages and she almost has it full in the five months that she has had it with her.

So with Cleo out voted I go over to the six HOT guys and say, "Hey can any of you guys fix a car? We have had some car trouble but we don't need to get far, just to my Aunt's house in La Push. Do you think any of you could, like temporarily fix it or something?" man my parents were wrong for sending me here cause these guys are hotter than any guy I ever met back in Virginia! HOT DAMN I am going to have some fun here!

One of the guys, the third biggest and the hottest of them all, keeps staring at me and it kind of creeps me out in a 'maybe Cleo was right and they are rapists' kind of way but hey, what are you gonna do right it was either ask them for help or sit here all night cause our cells are dead! I choose to get the hell off the side of the fucking road!

"Um yeah we actually own a garage in La Push that we could take your car too after the temporary fix we do here. Do you know what is wrong with the car? My name is Jacob Black by the way but everyone just calls me Jake." the tallest and biggest guy out of all of them says to me.

"Okay Jake, but I do not know where the problem is I just know there is a problem. It just suddenly stopped and wouldn't go anywhere but all the lights are still on." I say back to him he seems disappointed that I don't know more but hey! How am I supposed to know?

"Well we will go and take a look these guys are my friends Embry Call, Quil Ateara, Seth Clearwater, and Brady and Collin Connweller. They all live on the Rez too." Jake says to me pointing to each one as he says their names but one sticks out among the others and then I recognize him.

"Seth?" I ask tentatively to see if he recognized me too.

"OH MY GOD" he exclaims just the way I remember him doing when we were little, "I can't believe it is you Nat! I haven't seen you in ages! And are those two girls over there Noellie and Cleo?" he asked me excitedly, he had met my friends when we were very little and he and Noellie hit it off great, if you count him chasing her with a worm and her crying and screaming for her daddy to 'shoot him daddy shoot him cause he is a bad guy! Then kick his door down!' as great. "you look totally different!" he continued on in his ever enthusiastic voice as he hoists me up into a big bear hug that has me laughing so much it feels like I will die! I swear when he picked me up that Embry guy growled at him! Who growls at people?

"I look different? Say that to the mirror! Where is my little Sethy? I miss my little itty bitty baby cousin!" I say to him in fake shock and indignation the Embry guy and everyone else seemed oddly relieved that I was Seth's cousin. But I don't dwell on that long cause Seth laughs and says, "He grew up big cuz. Though I can call you little cuz now can't I!" with sparkling eyes. OH CRAP! He is going to get me back for every little thing I did to him or said to him about being little! Just great!

"So where is Leah at?" I asked in an attempt to draw away his attention from the fact that he can torture me now. And Seth being Seth, he fell for it completely.

"Oh she is back at the house with Ma." He said conversationally, "Let's get this car fixed so we can get over there and then to Emily's place for lunch, you remember Emily right?" Seth asked cautiously, he knew how mad I had been, and still am, at our cousin Emily, the daughter of my mother's other half-sister, over what she did to Seth's sister Leah! I had always loved Leah and we have always gotten along very well. She, Emily and I hung out together constantly when we were growing up in the summer when I would come up to La Push so Leah told me everything about her boyfriend Sam and how she thought he was about to propose to her when the jerk up and left her to be with Emily! I was so shocked when I heard from Leah that I begged my parents to let me come up to La Push to see her and when they let me we hung out and she finally seemed like she was over it when this year I got a call from Aunt Sue saying that Uncle Harry died and Leah wasn't doing so well so I came down for the funeral and found out that not only were Emily and Sam getting married but Emily had the nerve to ask poor LeeLee to be her Maid of Honor! When Leah politely told her no Emily asked me and I not so politely told her to, I believe my exact words were, 'Shove the Maid of Honor position up your ass!' and that was the end of that!

"DO NOT MENTION THAT NAME!" I yelled at Seth and he flinched but I continued, "I asked where LeeLee was not that, that, that, URGGGGHHHHH!" I couldn't even finish I was so mad at her still. All of the guys seemed really afraid and nervous when I said that, like there was some secret that only I didn't know about and it made me really uncomfortable**.**

**Okay so that is the first chapter of my newest fanfic and thanks to What-If-If-Only for letting me use one of your character names in this story! I hope everyone liked the story and I encourage all of you readers to use that magic little link at the bottom of the page and review giving me an idea of what you like and what you like as well as what you did not like oh and expect an update about once a week or once every two weeks!**

_**Sincerely, **_

_**be-the-ALEC-to-my-MAGNUS**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay I am officially the worst author ever for not keeping my promise about the whole once a week or once every two week updates! I am soooooo sorry! And because I don't want you to be confused later on in the story this happens after they have all phased but Bella is not with Edward and the Cullen's are gone for good Bella is imprinted on but by who? Just read to find out!**

**I do not own Twilight or Criminal Minds but I do own my characters and my idea for this story… so yeah.**

**Jacob POV.**

"C'mon guys we don't want to miss lunch at Sam and Emily's!" Embry yells at me, Quil, Seth, Brady, and Collin to get us to hurry up and follow him. I am the second in command of the pack but I don't really want to be. I would never say this to my dad or anything because he is so proud of me but I really don't want to be in the pack. I mean what had it caused me? Nothing but grief I tell you, nothing!

I turn into a giant wolf in my spare time and have to fight vampires, the girl of my dreams is stolen away from me by one of those said vampires but when she comes to her senses after he leaves her in the middle of the damn forest she gets Imprinted on by none other than Paul. Paul! Out of every one it could have been it had to be Paul!

But anyway Seth, Brady and Collin are still relatively new wolves so it is hard for them to understand who to follow and the twins especially tend to listen more to me than Sam, which really pisses him off, but whatever I do not care who they fucking follow just as long as their tagging along after me doesn't get in my way. But then Embry spoke the magic words, If we don't hurry then all of the food will be gone." And just like that we are all scrambling for my Rabbit.

But then Embry stops suddenly and says, "Dude I just imprinted." So naturally we all start to congratulate him and looking around for the lucky girl.

"She is the one in the red tank top with the dark hair and eyes," he tells us quietly as he watches her.

"Dude she is H-O-T!" I say loudly and Embry growls, "MINE" angrily at me.  
>"Okay, okay! She is all yours Bro understood loud and clear!" I say in an 'I give up' tone of voice.<p>

But Em doesn't even answer me; instead he just keeps staring at her like some deranged psycho stalker dude on drugs!

Then much to our surprise Em's Imprint starts to walk over to us and then she says, "hey can any of you guys fix a car? We have had some car trouble but we don't need to get far, just to my Aunt's house in La Push. Do you think any of you could, like temporarily fix it or something?" we were all shocked to say the least that she was going to the rez.

We waited for Embry to speak to her but he became a stone wall the second she started speaking. Seriously! The guy is just standing there with the most stalkerish look on his face that if I were her I would run away. If this is what Imprinting does to us then I don't want any part of it I would rather rot in Bella is Not Mine Sadness for the rest of my (hopefully) long life.

But yeah I don't really have much of a choice so I just say, "Um yeah we actually own a garage in La Push that we could take your car too after the temporary fix we do here. Do you know what is wrong with the car? My name is Jacob Black by the way but everyone just calls me Jake."

"Okay Jake, but I do not know where the problem is I just know there is a problem. It just suddenly stopped and wouldn't go anywhere but all the lights are still on." She answers and okay I am a little disappointed that she doesn't know the problem but I try not to show it on my face so I just say,

"Well, we will go and take a look these guys are my friends Embry Call, Quil Ateara, Seth Clearwater, and Brady and Collin Connweller. They all live on the Rez too." And I make sure to point to each one as I say their names but then she says, "Seth?" almost as if she doesn't think he will recognize her and we all go on high alert at the sound of Seth's name coming from her lips.

"OH MY GOD" he exclaims the way he always does when he is excited about something, "I can't believe it is you Nat! I haven't seen you in ages! And are those two girls over there Noellie and Cleo?" he asked her excitedly, we all tensed up more when he called her Nat because it was obviously a nickname and you don't call just anyone by a nickname."you look totally different!" he continued on in his ever enthusiastic voice as he hoists her up into a big bear hug that has her laughing so much I think she might keel over! When he picked her up Embry growled at him. And I was afraid he was going to loose his cool.

"I look different? Say that to the mirror! Where is my little Sethy? I miss my little itty bitty baby cousin!" she says to him in fake shock and indignation but with her words come the audible sighs of relief from every one of us Embry especially when we found out she is Seth's cousin. But just then Seth laughs and says, "He grew up big cuz. Though I can call you little cuz now can't I!" with sparkling eyes. You can see it in her face that she must have tortured him unbearably and I knew that anyone but Seth, and understandably Embry would so ride her ass so bad about that .

"So where is Leah at?" she asks in an obvious attempt to draw away his attention from the fact that he now has leverage over her. But because he is Seth he didn't even notice the design of the comment.

"Oh she is back at the house with Ma." He said conversationally, "Let's get this car fixed so we can get over there and then to Emily's place for lunch, you remember Emily right?" Seth surprised us by treading cautiously, like there was some kind of problem now that he had said that.

"DO NOT MENTION THAT NAME!" She yelled at Seth and he flinched but that didn't stop her, "I asked where LeeLee was not that, that, that, URGGGGHHHHH!" she couldn't even formulate a sentence she was so pissed off. I think that all of us got the same thought in that instant and we didn't need a mind link to figure out what it was, "Oh Fucking Shit**."**

Okay so here is the next Chapter I hope that you enjoy it and I really hope that you review I decided last minute to have a little Jacob/OC (Coming Soon) and Paul/Bella Imprint Story added in so just review for me and tell me what you think!

Sincerely,

Be-the-ALEC-to-my-MAGNUS


	3. Chapter 3

If you care please copy, sign and post this.

Petition:

I, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that (I believe) violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in it's original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

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(Personal: I do have lemons in my stories.)

forum. fanfiction topic/111772/63683250/1/#63698621

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Reverence of the Night Rain


	4. Chapter 3: OH FUCKING SHIT!

**Okay so I am sorry that I haven't updated in a while but I am now so hopefully that makes up for it! So I am going to write this chapter in Seth, Noellie, and some Jacob Pov I hope you like it and please review so I can get better or just to tell me what you liked!**

**I do not own Twilight or Criminal Minds but if I did I would be married to both Spencer Reid and Paul LaHote! Lol just kidding… mostly!**

**I would like to say thank you to—**

**evfangirl98**** for the review, story alert, favorite story, and the favorite author**

**Isla Singer for the story alert**

**MySilentEmoSide for the story alert**

**darkestnight22 for the story alert and the favorite story**

**Angel With A Tarnished Halo for the story alert**

**Cyralina for the story alert**

**And**

**Karmagrace for the favorite story and favorite author I hope I didn't leave anyone out but these are the only notifications FanFiction sent me but thank you all you help me to continue this story even when I run completely out of ideas! Thanks Again! **

**Chapter 3: OH FUCKING SHIT!**

**Noellie Pov.**

This is what I get for throwing parties. This unimaginable torture! I, unlike Nat, hate the town of La Push with a fiery burning passion of hate if that makes sense. So here I am halfway listening to Cleo squealing on and on about rapists and how I am 8% more likely to get kidnapped than Nat because of my racial diversity or some shit like that but according to the International List of Kidnapped Children and Teens that she showed me and Nat before we left to 'better prepare ourselves for what is out there' Cleo is 87% more likely to get kidnapped and or raped than either of me or Nat. Not that I really care the way I figure it is that I am already in hell so let's just add a rapist into the mix and we will have covered all the fucking bases!

You may be wondering why I hate La Push and I have two unbelievably heinous words for you that explain it all – Seth Clearwater. Yep, I hate that stupid little, little, ass! That is what he is an ass! He was always mean to me when I had to come here with Nat during the summer when we were little. Nat and Cleo are both older than me. Nat is already in graduated and is the same age as her cousins Leah and Emily (who is currently blacklisted at the moment for stealing LeeLee's boyfriend Sam) at the age of 19 (that may not be right but I am doing this for my story so Leah, Nat, Sam, and Emily are all 19), Cleo is only two years younger at 17 ( the same age as Quill, Jacob, and Embry) but is already in her 5th year of college because she inherited her father's smart genes or whatever. And that leaves me at age 16… the same age as Seth Clearwater (Brady and Collin are both 13 and are Kim, Jared's imprints brothers). So naturally our parents used to push us together for everything since we were both born on August 17th we had joint birthdays in the summer when I was forced to come and visit on Team Family Vacation Week as our parents call it. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that my parents, Cleo's parents, and Nat's parents all work on the same FBI team that is headed by Nat's father Uncle Aaron. But anyway I just wish I could be at home where there is an Arts store right down the road and a coffee shop across the street. As of now I am sipping at Nat's hot, semi flat, can of Coke (something I hope she won't notice because that bitch is serious about her Coca-Cola addiction) but I am tired and cranky and I really just want to go—

"OH MY GOD" I hear a deep yet oddly childlike voice exclaim I look up from my latest drawing and see Nat being picked up by one of the hottest guys I have ever seen what is in the water up here!

"Do you see that?" Cleo exclaims panicking as usual, "He is kidnapping her! He is a murdering Axe Rapist on a killing rampage! And we are all going to die I told you so I told you so I told you so!" she continued ranting.

"Are you finished yet" I droned in my signature monotone voice that Nat tells me grates on her nerves and never fails to rile my father to the point of grounding me as he says 'forever', "because he is still talking and he has put her down." I point out to her and she whipped her head around so fast I am surprised it didn't fall off.

I strain my ears and manage to catch— "And are those two girls over there Noellie and Cleo? You look totally different!" Now I am confused how would that hot hunk of man meat know who we were?

I continue my eavesdropping and hear Nat say, "I look different? Say that to the mirror! Where is my little Sethy? I miss my little itty bitty baby cousin!" OH MY GOD SETH CLEARWATER GOT HOT! So not possible! I hate him and here I am thinking about how hot he would look without those tight cut off shorts on! Mind Level—Officially Blown! This cannot be happening to me I hate him I hate him I hate him!

"He grew up big cuz. Though I can call you little cuz now can't I!" I hear him say in that sexy, I mean irritating, voice and then I realize that he can so get me back for calling him a shrimp and a weak baby and before I knew what the word was bitch. I called him that because I heard my dad say that Uncle Spence was Aunt JJ's Bitch one time so I started calling Seth my Bitch and he was so upset he started crying all over the place and then Leah, Nat, Emily, and Cleo started calling him Bitch to and so we dubbed him the Community Bitch. Did I mention that Seth and I were 5 when that happened? He wouldn't hold a grudge would he? I sure hope not.

I was brought out of my musings by Nat's voice yelling, more like screaming, "DO NOT MENTION THAT NAME!" I watched as Seth flinched but that didn't stop her, "I asked where LeeLee was not that, that, that, URGGGGHHHHH!" so he just had to mention Emily.

Cleo and I share a look and then say the same words, "Oh Fucking Shit**." **this is going to be a long summer, a very long summer indeed I think as I look at Seth Clearwater up close and see that he is even hotter than I had thought. Sigh again why do I throw parties?

Oh Fucking Shit indeed

**Seth Pov. **

I am so excited to see my cousin again even if I am a little put out that Em imprinted on her, I try to look at the bright sides which are at least now she can know what is going on, and well he isn't Quil or Paul! I would hate to be related to them through marriage can you imagine the family reunions I would have to sit through yuck! Yeah definitely glad it was Embry. We start to walk over to the car and Nat says, "I was asleep when it happened but Noellie was driving so maybe she can tell you what happened." To Jacob who was nodding in response.

Ah Noellie she will forever be my, what did she call me… oh yeah her Eternal Rival! That was it! God we hated each other and if I am being honest I kind of had a crush on her when we were little but when I told her that at age five she called me her Bitch. Then she got Lee, Emily, Nat, and Cleo to call me the Community Bitch which Leah still after 9 YEARS calls me and from that day on it was war. I used to chase her with worms and lead her out in the woods and leave her there and tell her she was ugly and all sorts of mean things but alas all she did in retaliation was call me Bitch and spit in my eye. Yep she spit on me. A lot.

We get over to the car and I am brought out of my musings by the most beautiful girl I have ever seen she is perfect and nothing can ruin my Imprinting haze at least I thought that until Nat says "Noellie what exactly happened?" and to my utter horror I see my angel, my goddess, my imprint, my soul mate, my everything open her mouth to speak. My Imprint is my Eternal Rival! Mind Level: Officially Blown!

Oh Fucking Shit.

**Noellie Pov.**

Seth is just looking at me but when Nat asks me what happened and I open my mouth to speak he gets this horrified look I just brush it off and say, " Well not much actually I can't really tell you anything" I say in my monotone voice.

But then I hear the guy, Jacob I think, say, "Um how long has this light been on?"

"Oh about an hour but I thought it was pretty so I left it alone. Bad call?" I asked him in a meek voice. He face palmed and exchanged a look with the second biggest guy in the group, Quil, who also face palms, "Yeah bad call." I continued sadly.

"What does the pretty light mean?" Nat asked curiously and Cleo butted in and said, "Stop calling it the pretty light that is the Temperature Warning Light and it means that the engine has reached a maximum temperature threshold, which could be caused by a low coolant level, failure of the radiator fan or fans, a stuck thermostat, blown head gasket or catastrophic coolant leak. The engine should be shut off _**immediately**_." She stops here to glare at me before continuing on saying, "Sometimes turning off the air conditioning unit and switching on the heater can cool the engine down. Regardless, extreme high engine temperatures need to be solved immediately to avoid serious engine damage my guess is that because the lights still work that we have either a blown head gasket or a radiator fan malfunction." She finishes with a flourish and then looks up right into the eyes of one extremely impressed Jacob Black. And he just looks at her and keeps looking and keeps looking and keeps looking God what is wrong with this guy? He looks like he just found his soul mate or something! And then she says something that ONLY Cleo would say to a hot guy practically drooling over her. Face Palm I really need new friends. **Jacob Pov.**I JUST FOUND MY SOUL MATE! She is so pretty with her long blonde hair that is prettily curled around the ends framing her gorgeous face perfectly and those amazing blue eyes that are have almost three different colors of blue in them I think I wouldn't mind drowning if the water supplied for the job was that exact mixture of blue. Wow so this is imprinting. I always wondered and now I can't really even blame Paul for taking Bells away because I know what it was like! I want a life and a home and kids with this beautiful girl in front of me and I want it all now! And to top it all off she speaks car! What is that annoying thing that Seth always says when he can't believe something…? Oh yeah Mind Level: Officially Blown! But then I am brought out of my inner thoughts when my angel looks right into my eyes with her perfect aqua blues and says, "Are you a rapist? Because according to the International List of Kidnapped Children and Teens I am 87% more likely to get kidnapped, raped, and or murdered than either of my friends here." I'm like WHAAAAAATTTTTT? I thought she was done but after taking a breath she continued with, "and in addition to that blonde hair and blue eyes are extremely valued in the Sex Slave Trade Market. Did you know that 72.2% of all suspected Sex Slave Trade Victims have one or both blonde hair and blue eyes among their physical demographic traits? So if you are a rapist or a kidnapper or an axe murderer I am going to politely ask that you leave and I would also like to inform you that I can and will scream very loudly in the event that you do try something." She finished all while staring me in the eyes and not blinking.

All that I can think to do is say, "Um… no I am not a rapist, axe murderer, or a kidnapper. I also don't sell unsuspecting blonde haired blue eyed girls into the Sex Slave Market or whatever it was that you said." in a shocked and awkward voice. My imprint thinks I want to sell her as a Sex Slave keeps running through my head and then I think oh God the guys will never let me live this down! I can already hear Quil, Brady, Collin, and Embry laughing their asses off behind me. I look to Seth and then he mouths 'don't worry she is like this with everyone." That makes it slightly better but still my imprint thinks I am a rapist! How does someone look like a fucking rapist?

Then she starts speaking again, "Oh so only _**suspecting teenage girls with blonde hair and blue eyes **_then hmmmm." She looks at me expectantly.

I instantly realize my word screw up and try desperately to make it better by saying, "No, _**God No**_I don't sell _**any girls**_ into the Sex Market! I swear!" I say quickly to try and get my point across as fast as possible.

"Dear Fucking God Cleo! What the Hell is wrong with you the guy is not a rapist or a sex slave dealer! You have been having **WAY** too many daddy daughter days!" Nat says loudly then continues with, "You know not _**every guy**_ you see is a criminal!"

And now I am wondering what the FUCKING HELL a daddy daughter day consists of because I know I'm not a girl but really! Rapist Profiling wasn't what my Dad did with Rach and Beck when they were little and I am pretty sure Bells and Charlie just watch TV or some shit like that!

But then my imprint starts explaining herself by saying, "I believe that it is always wise to ask the man creepily staring at you if he is going to rape, abduct, or exploit you sexually before trusting him to fix your car. But maybe that is just me I should be more trusting like you or maybe I should just zone out with a face that screams I'M NOT PAYING ATTENTION COME RAPE ME! Like Noellie! So I am sorry if I like NOT getting raped by strangely staring men I don't know!" My perfect goddess says angrily to Nat. So it was the STARING at her thing not me in general! Thank God! Note to self: when you stare at your imprint her mind automatically jumps to I'M GONNA RAPE YOU! I do know one thing: I'm never going to Rapist Stare at her again. Way to make a first impression on the mother of your unmade children Jake way to go! I say to myself cynically.

Then she turns to me and says, "I still don't trust you so don't try anything rapist like you got that?" So I do what any guy would do I nod and say, "Got it."

My life sucks first my mother is dead, then the girl I had loved forever almost chooses a Bloodsucking Leech over me, and then _**Paul **_(I still hate him by the way)imprints on aforementioned girl, I also happen to be not only a werewolf but because that isn't enough I am the rightful Alpha leader of a werewolf pack, and now because the life of Jacob Ephiriam Black didn't suck into oblivion before to top it all off the cherry in all of this is that my imprint my fucking _**SOUL MATE **_still thinks I am a GOD DAMNED RAPIST! Why me? What did I ever do to deserve all of this SHIT! What else can go wrong?

Oh Fucking Shit!

**Well I hope you liked it and please review! I kind of feel bad for Jacob at the end though. Not bad enough to change it though hee hee hee I am evil I suppose! Anyway just review and tell me what you guys want to read!**

**With Love, **

**be-the-ALEC-to-my-MAGNUS**


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